Keeping Our Power

“If tyranny and oppression come to this land, it will be

in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.” ~ James Madison

I titled this post, "Keeping Our Power," and I mean it both metaphorically and literally. 

A few days ago, I was on the phone discussing Trump and Russia with a friend, and shared my prediction that something like this (see 12/30/16 WAPO article) was imminent.

Article in Washington Post on December 30, 2016

Crash Course in Comedy from Jerry Lewis

On December 19, 2016, The Hollywood Reporter (THR) used the Internet to share with the world a brief interview with the legendary Jerry Lewis -- accomplished comedian, actor, singer, writer, director, and producer, who has amassed a body of work spanning 70 years. 

Jerry Lewis is also a generous humanitarian who selflessly shepherded an annual Labor Day Telethon to raise money for children with Muscular Dystrophy that ran from 1966-2014. He hosted it until 2010, a run of 44 years! Quite a legacy.

Although the video is under eight minutes, it feels longer because Jerry methodically commands every moment as captain of his comedy ship, while mopping the deck with an inept and clueless off-camera interviewer who sounds like a high school kid doing a story for his school's paper. (I don't mean to denigrate high school newspapers or the kids who write for them, as I suspect few would fail this dismally.)

Here's the video interview in all its glory. Watch and listen closely as an interviewer is deftly schooled with a crash course in comedy. The post that follows is my take on it.

Something You Should Never Wish For

"I still haven’t had an abortion . . .
but I wish I had." ~ Lena Dunham (Dec 2016)

Celebrity Lena Dunham is "trending" because she said the above during one of her recent podcasts. Given that she's been out of the limelight for a few months, perhaps she was feeling neglected and had to get herself back in the news? Dunham does seem to do this on a cyclical basis. 

Disclosure: I'm not a fan. I have no idea how she became famous -- other than possibly because she's willing to be filmed naked? She's on my "Emperor's Not Wearing Clothes" list (along with Trump and others). I believe some people are propelled to fame because of a gimmick, and no one has the balls to say, "Nah, don't see it." It's as if they don't want to be the only person not jumping on the bandwagon. Meanwhile, most are silently baffled.

Anyway, the polarizing subject of abortion and freedom of choice has been thrust back into the zeitgeist, at least until the next news cycle, or until Trump tweets something outrageous to misdirect attention from his latest grift.

All evening, people were on social media sharing articles about Dunham's insensitive remark. It didn't take long before links showed up on my Twitter feed. When one woman referred to freedom of choice as "pro-abortion," I couldn't remain silent. I felt it was my duty to school her on why the phrase, "pro-abortion," can be counter-productive in our fight to protect women's reproductive rights.

In my opinion, there's a vast difference between "pro-abortion" and "pro-choice." The former implies you're celebrating abortion and giving it a seal of approval. 

A millennial female (20ish) didn't understand what was wrong with the label: “pro-abortion.” My anger flared as I realized how younger generations are clueless about the progress women have made, and the obstacles we had to overcome in the 20th century so a woman could actually RUN for president in 2016. P.S. That woman garnered more popular votes than any White male presidential candidate in history. You go, Hillary Clinton! I believe our male-dominated misogynistic culture played a huge part in the election's outcome. If Hillary were a man, with her lifetime of qualifications, we'd be looking at an entirely different 2017 ahead of us.

Battling the inherent bias against women is ongoing. We may have come a long way, baby, but with men trying to legislate what we can do with our vaginas and uteruses, we still have a long way to go.

Many younger women don't know the names Gloria Steinem or Erica Jong. They've never heard of the National Organization for Women (N.O.W.). They might know about Susan B. Anthony, but only because she's on an almost-obsolete dollar coin and her name comes up in history classes.

Sure, they've heard of Roe v Wade, and know it's a Supreme Court decision the Republicans want to overturn, a campaign promise Trump made, which I suspect the GOP will push Trump/Pence to pursue with a likely extreme-right Conservative Supreme Court.

But these millennials weren't around for the days when women had to cross state lines to have an abortion, or go to a room off a dark alley, or use a coat hanger themselves because no doctor would help them terminate an unwanted pregnancy. Women who had abortions back then kept it secret and carried the emotional burden without support.

Planned Parenthood and our current "right to choose" is something millennials take for granted, not realizing it's a right that could (and may) be taken away at any moment.

Another tangential rant: I've noticed some millennials refer to themselves as "activists" in Twitter profiles, providing links to Paypal or GoFundMe, where they expect you to give them money -- for no reason at all -- other than to subsidize their activism. I'm not kidding. The sense of entitlement is astounding. It's one reason I didn't like Bernie Sanders making "free college" part of his platform. Make it affordable? Sure. But free? Why should this generation get a free ride? Let them work hard and pay their dues like every generation before. If you hand everything to them, they end up with no work ethic and, instead, tweet all day as "activists," expecting people to send them money.

Sorry. Rant over. Back on point again. 

How can these young women (and Lena Dunham) not understand that having an abortion is not a badge you wear with pride? It's not something every girl grows up saying, "Gee, I hope one day I get to have an abortion!" You don't look forward to it. And if an unplanned pregnancy happens -- often in spite of being responsible with birth control -- you don't jump for joy. "Oh, goodie. I get to have an abortion. Woohoo!" 

You're faced with a daunting decision. You might struggle over it for days or even weeks. You vacillate between all the options and possible outcomes, playing out scenarios in your head of the consequences -- having an abortion, having the baby and giving it up for adoption, or having the baby and raising it. Will you be raising it alone? With a partner? With your parents' help? 

You might get advice from a friend. Pressure from a parent or boyfriend. You're worried people will judge you. It is one of the most difficult decisions a woman may ever have to make in her entire life. 

Depending on the circumstances of how you got pregnant, that too may influence how you feel about the pregnancy and steer you more toward one direction or another. Were you raped? Was it incest? Is the boy/man going to raise it with you? Give you financial support? Are you religious, or is your family religious? Are you in high school with college ahead of you, and would a baby change the course of your life? Are you older and see this as your last chance to have a baby?

Having an abortion is a highly personal and often painful experience for a woman, no matter why she makes the choice at the time. Her emotional pain may be immediate, or the feelings of loss may not surface for years. But believe me, it never goes away. It’s always there. A deep, haunting wound.

No one is pro-abortion. It's never something you want to do. But it's often something you have to do.

Women who have had abortions rarely talk about it. There's a stigma attached. They're afraid they'll be judged or rejected by friends. But perhaps it's time we talk about it more. Perhaps it's time for women to come out of the shadows and share their stories, so others feel less alone carrying the grief, carrying the "what-if" questions, carrying the doubt, or perhaps not carrying any of that at all.

Regardless -- having an abortion is not a choice made with glee. It’s often a choice made out of necessity for your survival, for your future, or even to sever a connection with an abusive boyfriend or husband.

We must keep abortion legal as a woman's choice. Just because the law exists doesn't mean you are advocating or condoning it. But you cannot impose your morality on another person based on your religious beliefs. If there's a god, it will be up to that god to judge whether the woman's choice cancels out all the good she did in her life.

Republicans and right-wingers call it murder. Yet many support the death penalty. Does no one see the hypocrisy? For that matter, many religious people believe you can be a "sinner" your whole life, be a horrible person, rape, pillage, murder, lie, and steal... but if you ask for the forgiveness of Jesus Christ, all is forgiven and you go to heaven. Now, if you truly believe that, why wouldn't a woman who got an abortion be given that same last minute reprieve for "salvation?" (Something to think about, eh?)

CHOOSING to have an abortion is never an easy choice to make. But thank goodness women today have the choice available to them. 

Do many women regret it later in life? Most likely. But that's a burden they have to carry, and if you do believe in a god, shouldn't you show them compassion rather than judgment?

Although we fight to preserve Roe v Wade so EVERY woman has the choice available, do not allow anyone to spin it as “pro-abortion.” No one celebrates abortion. We celebrate freedom of choice.

This is why I bristle at the phrase "pro-life," because it's assumed that the opposite must be "anti-life." Yet those of us who advocate for choice are not anti-life.

For Dunham to have said she wishes she’d had the experience of an abortion was damaging and disrespectful. It trivializes a heart-wrenching life-altering decision I wouldn't wish on anyone. Not even on my worst enemy.

For those who had to make the choice... I am with you. You are brave. You are strong. You are beautiful. As we women face an uncertain future with how the incoming administration may take away our reproductive rights... let us stand together in solidarity with acceptance and love.

Footnote: I may return periodically and revise this post, add/delete, tone down the anger, etc. Right now it's raw and from the heart.

My blog's disclaimer can be found by scrolling down.

The Power of One Voice

"Just One Voice... singing in the darkness

All it takes is One Voice singing so they hear what's on your mind

And when you look around you'll find there's more than One Voice

Singing in the darkness... joining with your One Voice

Each and every note another octave... 

Hands are joined and fears unlocked

If only One Voice would start it on its own

We need just One Voice facing the unknown,

And that One Voice would never be alone

It takes that One Voice." ~ Barry Manilow

My lifelong crush, Barry Manilow, wrote that beautiful anthem with a message that is incredibly relevant right now. Oh, what I wouldn't give to record an album with Barry. I've been told I'm a pretty good singer. People often ask why I didn't pursue a career in music (fodder for another day), or why I don't sing publicly anymore (mudder for another).

Well, consider this my formal announcement that I'm willing to dust off my vocal cords to sing at Donald Trump's Inauguration. Yes, I just said that.

But first, I have some conditions. After all, divas and rock stars have lists of requirements for their dressing rooms. So why should I be any different? But don't worry. I'm not asking for water from the Nile or anything exotic. I think what I'm asking for is rather reasonable, all things considered.

Open Letter to the Electors

"You can't make this issue partisan. It is too important.

A fundamental part of a democracy is a free and fair election." - Sen. McCain 

I sent an email to the Electors via AskTheElectors.org. As a few have already bounced back, some email addresses are wrong. Many have auto-replies in place, likely due to the barrage of emails they're receiving.

Of course, after clicking send, I thought of additional things I should have said, such as:

• Trump is endorsed by the KKK. Hate crimes are on the rise since the election. His administration is rife with bigots: anti-gay, anti-Black, anti-Muslim, anti-Jew, anti-Woman, and therefore, anti-American.

The Unbearable Lightness of Inaction

“It's the action, not the fruit of the action, that's important.

You have to do the right thing. 

It may not be in your power, may not be in your time, that there'll be any fruit. 

But that doesn't mean you stop doing the right thing. 

You may never know what results come from your action. 

But if you do nothing, there will be no result.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

This is a quick post with its message focused on the importance of taking action (versus taking none), regardless of whether the desired outcome is guaranteed. It was prompted by a contentious conversation I had last night at a local Meetup event with two individuals whom I'd never met before. One was female (under 30) and the other was male (50ish).

Both were Democrats who supported Hillary Clinton.

Electoral College Rules - How Clinton Can Win

"The supreme quality for leadership is

unquestionably integrity." ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

The Constitution's 12th Amendment describes the Electoral College rules. It also addresses a scenario in which no candidate reaches 270 Electoral College votes.

Following is the text of the U.S. Constitution's 12th Amendment (emphasis mine):

"The electors shall meet in their respective states and vote by ballot for President and Vice-President, one of whom, at least, shall not be an inhabitant of the same state with themselves; they shall name in their ballots the person voted for as President, and in distinct ballots the person voted for as Vice-President, and they shall make distinct lists of all persons voted for as President, and of all persons voted for as Vice-President, and of the number of votes for each, which lists they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the seat of the government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate;

--The President of the Senate shall, in the presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the certificates and the votes shall then be counted; 

--the person having the greatest number of votes for President, shall be the President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of electors appointed; and if no person have such majority, then from the persons having the highest numbers not exceeding three on the list of those voted for as President, the House of Representatives shall choose immediately, by ballot, the President.

But in choosing the President, the votes shall be taken by states, the representation from each state having one vote; a quorum for this purpose shall consist of a member or members from two-thirds of the states, and a majority of all the states shall be necessary to a choice. 

And if the House of Representatives shall not choose a President whenever the right of choice shall devolve upon them, before the fourth day of March next following, then the Vice-President shall act as President, as in the case of the death or other constitutional disability of the President.  

The person having the greatest number of votes as Vice-President, shall be the Vice-President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of electors appointed,

and if no person have a majority, then from the two highest numbers on the list, the Senate shall choose the Vice-President; a quorum for the purpose shall consist of two-thirds of the whole number of Senators, and a majority of the whole number shall be necessary to a choice. But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States."

Okay. I know that was a lot to take in. It sounds more complicated than it is, which is why I separated the paragraphs and added color to help your eye find the relevant section. First, let me explain the math.

There are a total of 538 available Electoral Votes; hence, 538 Electors who will vote on December 19. Right now, Trump has 306 votes and Clinton has 232 votes = 538 Electoral Votes. So why is 270 is the magic number? 

538 ÷ 2 = 269. So with two candidates, each getting 269 would make it a tie. Therefore, 270 breaks the tie, giving one candidate the majority of the votes.

Are you with me so far?

• Scenario A: If 37 leave Trump and go to Clinton, both candidates will have 269, creating a tie, and the House of Representatives will become the final arbiter.
• Scenario B: If 38 leave Trump and go to Clinton, Trump drops to 268 and Clinton gets 270, the magic number -- and Clinton becomes our first woman President.

But recently, a GOP Elector announced he will not give his vote to Trump. This means that Scenarios A and B are unlikely. What if 37 leave Trump and give their votes to some "other" candidate?

Clinton would still have her 232, "Other" would have 37, and Trump would have 269. And again the House of Representatives would become the final arbiter.

"Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, 

and you may cherish the sweetest reflection 

that your vote is never lost." ~ John Quincy Adams

On a personal note, I cling to the belief that many GOP Electors recognize Trump as temperamentally unfit to be president. He lacks integrity, sound judgment, and experience. He behaves recklessly and without forethought, endangering our nation's stability. Putting him in the White House would be a catastrophic mistake for our country and the world. It is my hope that the Electors will put principles above party and not vote for Trump. If they do not feel comfortable crossing party lines and giving their votes to Clinton, then voting for Kasich would likely be embraced by both parties.

Note: If a constitutional attorney/expert reviews this post and says my interpretation is flawed, I will revise and update this post to ensure it is accurate.

*Scroll to the bottom of the page to read my Disclaimer.

(General) Michael Flynn Must Be Court-Martialed

"Stupidity is a talent for misconception." ~ Edgar Allan Poe

HISTORY FACT

Edgar Allan Poe was court-martialed at West Point for “gross neglect of duty and disobedience of orders,” and was dismissed on March 6, 1831.

PRESENT DAY FACT

On November 2, 2016, Michael T. Flynn, slated to be president-elect Donald J. Trump's "National Security Adviser," tweeted this:

Eric Trump Criticizes Wisconsin Recount

M E M O R A N D U M

To:     Eric Trump¹

From: Intelligent and Informed Voters

Date: December 4, 2016

Re:   Your tweet - "The Sad Truth: The Cost of Stein/Clinton's #Wisconsin Vote Recount

        Could Have Saved At Least 5,000 Children's Lives" (linked to an article from

        Forbes.com with similar headline)

Mr. Trump. Putting aside the dubious accuracy of the above-referenced assertion, in that you throw out a random unsubstantiated number(not unlike your father's modus operandi), and fail to specify the country in which these hypothetical children live, I will instead focus on what the first three words, "The Sad Truth," mean to me.

Important Message from an Elector

"Constitutions should consist only of general provisions . . .  they cannot

calculate for the possible change of things." ~ Alexander Hamilton

Watch the Following Video About Electoral College 
Then Share Repeatedly Until December 19!

Insomniac Seeks Refuge

In its early stages, insomnia is almost an oasis in which those who
have to think or suffer darkly take refuge. ~ Sidonie Gabrielle Collete

Okay, I'm going to babble incoherently now. I begin writing this at 4:00am because I can't sleep. Waiting for a sleeping pill to kick in. I'm sitting at my desk, talking to myself as I look at Trump's fat smug face in post after post on Twitter, and I'm saying aloud: "I can't believe he's the fucking president of the United States." I'm saying it over and over in disbelief.

Debunking False Information on the Internet

“A lie can travel halfway around the world while

the truth is putting on its shoes.” ~ Mark Twain

SIGH. Is anyone else annoyed having to perpetually debunk false info on Twitter and the Internet? Twain said the above quote never anticipating technology. Here's the timeline related to a blogger's "article" about the now thrice-cancelled (alleged) rape case against Donald Trump:

Mental Health: No Laughing Matter

I've been remiss in keeping this blog current due to my never-ending bouts of depression, so it's fitting that my first post after a hiatus is about Mental Illness. I was inspired to discuss this issue specifically because of glaring defects in Donald Trump's character which suggest he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), discussed below. 

Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional and carry no medical license. My comments about Trump are not a diagnosis. This is all just an educated guess given his words, his behavior, and his personality.

Let's start with this sobering statistic. According to time-to-change.org.uk:

I'll put it right out there and risk being vulnerable. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally disabled. I suffer from debilitating depression to the point where I battle suicidal ideation. I often have the "what's the point in living" talk with myself. The thing that keeps me from ending my life is my wonderful dog. Without her, I wouldn't be able to function.

I have Major Depressive Disorder and Persistent Depressive Disorder. This means my depression is not situational. Even when things are going well in my life (which is rare), I'm still depressed. Chronically.

The condition is not seasonal. While some people living in the Pacific Northwest have what's known as Seasonal Affective Disorder, where dark gloomy months affect their mood, I don't have that. I lived in Southern California for 26 years where it's sunny most of the time, and was still battling depression all the time.

Also, my depression does not magically go away with therapy or medication. I've tried pretty much everything that's out there. My psychiatrist and I have even tried "cocktails" mixing two different medicines to see if it boosts me somehow. The SSRI's have included generic versions of Paxil, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Oleptro, and even Prozac. Whether I suffered from bad side effects or no effects at all, nothing's worked.

Recently we tried the newest med on the market, Trintellix, but I had negative side effects within days -- rash, itching, instant weight gain, and it put me into a darker place than I was without it. So I'm back on Wellbutrin SR 150mg. It doesn't really lift me up, but at least I'm not in what I call "the basement."

Depression is something I have struggled with since childhood and it will plague me for the rest of my life. For most people, their "lows" are my normal. My "highs" are their normal.

It's also come to light that I have Complex PTSD, thanks to being abused by mother for my entire childhood, teen years, and even into adulthood. It's characterized by experiencing chronic victimization and total control by another for a prolonged period (months to years).

I also have Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Symptoms include severe insomnia, along with feeling as though I've been hit by a truck. (Not that I know what being hit by a truck feels like, but I can imagine.) I have massive chronic body pain and fatigue. This makes me more depressed. And as I'm depressed, I'm sedentary, causing an endless cycle of sadness, pain, and fatigue. As if that weren't enough to battle daily, I suffer from a litany of other physical health problems, which I will refrain from documenting as they are not relevant here but, believe me, they are often debilitating and hinder day-to-day functioning.

This blog post was prompted by a comment I saw on social media about Donald Trump. Some people are confusing two different personality disorders: BPD (Borderline) vs NPD (Narcissistic).

Saying that Trump has BPD does a tremendous disservice to those who actually have BPD. The label is thrown around because of the unfortunate word "borderline." The origin of BPD is that people with it were seen as being on the "borderline" between neurosis and psychosis. That label is undergoing revision in order to more properly address its symptoms.

See http://www.borderlinepersonalitytreatment.com/bpd-name-change.html

People with BPD are misunderstood because people misuse the term. I saw an episode of "Criminal Minds" in which the writers irresponsibly and incorrectly labeled a serial killer character as having BPD, thereby perpetuating misconceptions about the illness. 

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20023204

Signs and symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder may include:

•        Intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection
•        Pattern of unstable intense relationships, such as idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn't care enough or is cruel  
•        Rapid changes in self-identity and self-image that include shifting goals and values, and seeing yourself as bad or as if you don't exist at all
•        Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours
•        Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship
•        Suicidal threats or behavior or self-injury, often in response to fear of separation or rejection
•        Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame or anxiety
•        Ongoing feelings of emptiness
•        Inappropriate, intense anger, such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter, or having physical fights

Females are diagnosed about three times as often as males. People with BPD have abandonment issues and tend to come from highly abusive childhoods. There is instability in relationships and employment, and those with it have a hard time regulating their emotions.

Wikipedia correctly writes: 

"Borderline personality disorder (BPD), also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder, is a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by unstable relationships with other people, unstable sense of self, and unstable emotions. There is often an extreme fear of abandonment, frequent dangerous behavior, a feeling of emptiness, and self-harm. Symptoms may be brought on by seemingly normal events. The behavior typically begins by early adulthood, and occurs across a variety of situations. Substance abuse, depression, and eating disorders are commonly associated with BPD. About 10% of those with BPD die by suicide."

"In Marsha Linehan's view, the sensitivity, intensity, and duration with which people with BPD feel emotions have both positive and negative effects. People with BPD are often exceptionally enthusiastic, idealistic, joyful, and loving. However, they may feel overwhelmed by negative emotions ("anxiety, depression, guilt/shame, worry, anger, etc."), experiencing intense grief instead of sadness, shame and humiliation instead of mild embarrassment, rage instead of annoyance, and panic instead of nervousness."

Now, when you read the above, do you think of Donald Trump? Of course not! That is why I was dismayed to see screenwriter Callie Khouri on Twitter saying that Trump has BPD. If one were to make an armchair diagnosis of Trump, it is more likely to be Narcissistic Personality Disorder, since he has all of the markers. 

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20025568

The DSM-5 criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder include these features:

•        Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
•        Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
•        Exaggerating your achievements and talents
•        Being preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
•        Believing that you are superior and can only be understood by or associate with equally special people
•        Requiring constant admiration
•        Having a sense of entitlement
•        Expecting special favors and unquestioning compliance with your expectations
•        Taking advantage of others to get what you want
•        Having an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
•        Being envious of others and believing others envy you
•        Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner

Now that sounds like Donald Trump, doesn't it? 

It's important we remove the stigma of "mental illness" and "personality disorders." Whether someone has a chemical imbalance, or their "wiring" is frayed due to circumstances beyond their control (e.g. abusive histories), they have an illness that is just as real and valid as any physical challenge. If you have a physical illness such as diabetes, people don't judge or reject you. But if you have a mental illness, you're treated like a pariah. 

People with mental illnesses need compassion, understanding, and acceptance. While some celebrities have gone very public with their mental health stories, such as Demi Lovato and Carrie Fisher and Richard Dreyfuss with bipolar disorder, there are millions out there suffering in silence, afraid of being judged, ridiculed, and rejected.

So... Be kind to others. It costs nothing.